Gaslighting: discover the phrases of abusers and how to respond
Gaslighting is mental violence committed by another person and causes a series of instabilities and insecurities in the victim.
Gaslighting is mental violence perpetrated by another person and causes the victim a series of instabilities, insecurities and doubts about reality itself. Done in a “subtle” way, the victims - especially women - start to have their mind disturbed by the abuser, who lies, distorts and manipulates. Gaslighting triggers depression, anxiety, emotional dependence and low self-esteem.
Usually the abuser is someone very close and the fear of losing the person due to emotional dependence is great, which makes victims remain in different types of relationships. It's important to seek expert help to be able to encourage yourself and definitely move away from the abusive relationship.
Courtney S. Warren - psychologist, doctor at Harvard Medical School and specialist in love addictions - spoke on the subject for CBS and revealed what are the 5 phrases most used by abusers. In addition, the specialist also indicated the best way to react and face it. Check out!
"I was just kidding"
One of the main characteristics of abusers is always to minimize the impact of their speeches, which in many cases are painful and full of criticism, and to characterize the victim as someone sensitive or someone who cannot be “played”
How to respond: "That comment might have been funny to you, but it hurt my feelings." "I didn't think it was a joke, please don't talk to me like that anymore."
“You made me do this”
Always seeking not to assume responsibility when something happens out of agreement or that gets out of control, manipulators always blame the victim completely.
How to respond: “Actually, I can't make you do anything. Your behavior is a reflection of your choices, not mine.”
“If you loved me, you would let me do what I want”
Constantly psychologically abusing victims, the abuser makes the person feel guilty when the victim tries to set boundaries.
How to respond: “My boundaries reflect my values and how I choose to live my life. I don't feel comfortable doing that. Respect my limits
“You are acting like a crazy person”
Abusers always seek to question the rationality of the victims and always put their sanity or lucidity at stake.
How to respond: "Please don't question my ability to think clearly." "Even if we don't agree, I see reality this way."
"You are exaggerating"
By accusing the other person of being dramatic, the manipulator dismisses the victim's complaints and dismisses her concerns as unfounded and unreasonable.
How to respond: "Whether you agree with me or not, this is how I feel right now." “Don't judge my feelings. They are not subject to debate.”
