Unrequited love is a familiar experience for many people. At its core, it is an emotional imbalance, and the psychological impact of unrequited relationships is often much deeper than mere disappointment.

According to a study published in SAGE Open, there are five types of unrequited love. While these feelings may lack the intensity of passion, commitment, and sacrifice of purely romantic love, they have the potential to cause more pain and turmoil.

1. Parasocial love

One of the most common types of unrequited love is a crush on someone out of reach, such as a celebrity or public figure, often &quot;identified&quot; as parasocial love. For example, a 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that people can develop deep attachments to fictional characters. In these cases, the crush often perceives that the chances of forming a real relationship are slim. The connection is always asymmetrical—while fans invest time and emotion into following the celebrity’s life, the celebrity is completely unaware of their existence. Even if there is some level of interaction, such as meeting at an autograph signing or a press conference, researchers say the relationship is superficial, unfulfilled, and unlikely to go further. This imbalance is likely to lead to pain, because the emotional investment on one side is huge, but the opportunity for reciprocation or forging a meaningful connection is virtually nonexistent.

2. Fall in love with someone nearby

Sometimes, romantic feelings can develop for someone who is present in your everyday life — like a co-worker, classmate, or neighbor. Unlike parasocial love, this type of unrequited love often involves real, albeit limited, interactions. Researchers have found this to be the most common form of unrequited love. Close proximity and frequent contact can amplify feelings of attraction and attachment, even when those feelings are not expressed. The desire to move forward often collides with the fear of rejection, creating a tense cycle of uncertainty and emotional confusion.

3. Proactively pursue

This happens when a person has a crush on someone and decides to pursue them. The pursuit can be subtle, showing through small gestures, intimate interactions, or vague hints of affection. It can also include obvious actions, such as a direct declaration of love. However, the pursued person does not always recognize or reciprocate these feelings, leading to a mismatch in realistic expectations of the relationship. This situation puts the pursuer in a difficult position, as they must both make an effort to initiate and maintain a potential relationship, while secretly hoping to overcome unrequited feelings. In some cases, this unrequited love can lead to a &quot;happy ending&quot;. However, this depends on many factors, such as shared interests, and clear communication between the two people.

4. Dreaming about your ex

Another form of unrequited love is a lingering longing for an ex. When a relationship ends, sometimes the breakup is not amicable, leaving one or both partners still emotionally attached and committed. The deep familiarity and interdependence that developed over the course of a long relationship makes it difficult for the person left behind to “move on.” This leads to the hope of rekindling the relationship, even when it is no longer possible. Often, this longing stems from a fear of being alone or feelings of inadequacy, rather than true feelings for the ex.

Even if two people are in love, their feelings and ways of expressing love may not be the same. “Asymmetry” describes one person who loves deeply or wants to take the relationship further, while the other person is not ready. Or it can be when each person expects different things from love. For example, one person wants a lot of experiences, while the other needs a long-term commitment. This difference can easily leave both people feeling tired and disappointed. While we sometimes have no control over who we fall in love with, choosing to hold on to unrequited love can keep you from opening yourself up to new possibilities. Self-love is about recognizing that you deserve a relationship that is reciprocal, passionate, and fulfilling. When you let go of chasing someone who isn’t right for you, you open yourself up to someone who is more worthy of entering your life.

What kind of unrequited love are you having?

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