Cookie Jarring - Turns Out You're Just Plan B In A Relationship
"Cookie jarring" refers to the act of dating multiple people at once, not for the purpose of genuine connection, but as a backup if the primary relationship goes wrong.
Do you always keep a cookie jar handy, as a comfort when life gets chaotic? There’s a dating trend that mirrors this cookie jar scenario, but it’s not as sweet as you think. The urge to reward yourself with something sweet when things get tough can also manifest in your love life, and it often leaves a bitter aftertaste.
“Cookie jarring” refers to the act of dating multiple people at once, not for the purpose of genuine connection, but as a backup in case the primary relationship goes awry. This behavior can leave others feeling taken advantage of and emotionally unstable.
Like a child sneaking into the kitchen to get a cookie, a “Cookie jarrer” sneaks into an alternative when they are uncertain about the primary relationship, when the person they are interested in is unavailable, or when they are faced with rejection.
A major catalyst for “cookie jarring” comes from the conflict of choice. Having so many dating options can make people hesitant to commit to one person, fearing that they might miss out on someone better. In times like these, this dating trend may seem logical, but it can be very insensitive to the person who is being treated as a spare cookie.
Here are some tell-tale signs that can help you determine if you are being "Cookie jarring":
Uncertainty and lack of commitment: He or she consistently avoids making specific plans or refuses to discuss the future of the relationship.
One-way effort: You are always the one making the effort to maintain contact and arrange meetings, while the other person is always passive.
Avoid defining relationships: Your attempts to define the relationship are always avoided or met with resistance, and there is no clarity about the future of the relationship you are aiming for.
Seeking support from trusted friends can help you manage this emotionally challenging and often frustrating situation. Friends provide an objective perspective, helping you see the truth of the matter when you're too blinded by your feelings for someone who may only see you as a backup option.
One study published in "Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice" Emphasize that it is important to see your partner from a third person, objective perspective. This can help to defuse conflict in the relationship and prevent future conflict, and your friends can be a great support in doing this.
Remember, you have a right to be respected in relationships and stand up for yourself around this. If someone is unwilling to understand or accommodate your needs, this is a serious warning sign. It is likely that you will continue to have difficulty with respect in future relationships.
Photos: rhode, Shimpei65, pinterest