5 Red Flags: Recognising Toxic Friends
"Friendship" - a word that promises warmth and support. But what happens when that bond becomes toxic?
Do you know the song "I'll Be There for You" by the Rembrandts, once written for the series Friends ? This should be the meaning of friendship: a small family apart from our own. People we can rely on and enjoy spending time with.
But how do we know that they "won't be there for us" when times get tough? According to the Whitehall II study , which followed more than 10,000 people over 12 years, there is a very strong link between toxic relationships, stress and health.
How do you know if you're in a toxic BFF situation? Below we list the most important red flags to look out for in your friendship.
They only call you when they're feeling down
Everyone knows someone who only likes to call when he or she is feeling down. Or to let off steam. Or because the person needs help and you are the chosen one to address the problem or favor. These types of friends are usually easy to identify.
You feel exhausted after seeing them
Vampires don't just exist in the Twilight saga. They are among us. They breathe our air and suck out our positive energy. They are so-called energy vampires. It is relatively easy to identify energy vampires. Pay attention to how you feel after the meeting. You don't feed on blood but on your energy and by the end of your meeting you are left feeling basically exhausted and overwhelmed.
They are Gossip Girl in real life
If your friend likes to gossip, chances are she or he does it behind your back too. The biggest mistake you can make is automatically assuming that just because you're friends, he or she won't gossip about you. The last thing you want is for all your secrets to be "passed around" among your friends. So maybe it's time to let go of those who are primarily interested in gossip.
They love to talk about themselves
This type of friend is naturally narcissistic and loves the sound of their own voice the most. A "How are you?" is enough to talk at length about their own life. They like to drown in their endless monologues and if you dare to say something, they often won't let you finish the sentence.
They're almost obsessed with you
Friends who show even the slightest hint of jealousy are a big red flag. They usually demand that you be available 100% of the time and get angry when you talk about other friends or, God forbid, decide to meet other friends. They want to know everything you did when you weren't together, even going so far as to search your phone. It looks like it's time to distance yourself from those toxic friends.
These are just some of the signs that you are in an unhealthy friendship. The most obvious red flag is if you were thinking of a specific friend while reading this post. Never forget that true friends are there for you when your day, week, month or even year has not gone well.
