Live soberly like an adult: Dare to refuse, know restraint and have a choice
Those who can live soberly, most of them have learned a truth from treating others...
We who depend on society's existence will be destined to need to deal with different people and learn to deal with different emergencies.
Each person will suffer different consequences due to the way they treat others or the way they receive and act.
If people are considered impulsive are often soft-hearted and emotional, often hesitant about choices, and then miss good opportunities.
Well, for those who can live soberly, most of them have learned a truth from treating others.
Dare to refuse is to keep an advantage over others.
Adults understand that they shouldn't be too nice to anyone, they don't allow not being able to control their emotions for anything. They learn to refuse, to be restrained, to make choices, to live their own lives well, to be a sober and rational adult.
In fact, most of our troubles come from being overly empathetic. But a nice person can still effectively reduce the problem if he/she can learn to say no.
I have a friend, he is a kind person who helps homeless people all year round and I always see the image of him having to pull his wallet constantly to help lottery ticket sellers when i have the opportunity to sit with him at roadside stalls.
He runs a small vegetarian restaurant, and he spends a third of his income helping others. After that, unfortunately he ran into a loss, but that still didn't stop him from helping the homeless with a meal or some money for the day.
Mr. T, whom he helped so often, felt that my friend looked down on him because last time, my friend only gave him 200,000 VND, instead of the previous year's 500,000 VND.
The right rejection isn't cruel, it's about giving goodwill to those who know how to appreciate you more.
And I believe not only me but many others have experienced the same thing when I was practicing kindness and giving. I've found that once you give more than you can afford to, it will ultimately only cause self-destruction and encourage malicious breeding.
There is a saying: "A person's worth comes from rejection, rejection can make you more valuable."
The right rejection isn't cruel, it's about saving your limited goodwill for yourself and those who know how to appreciate you more.
When you treat people, you should be like a diamond, with edges and corners that will make life shine.
Control your emotions and stay calm
On another occasion, I saw a brief message read as follows.
A man who was overtaken by a vehicle tried to overtake and block the front, causing a scuffle and the driver overtaking the other, because he was so angry, stabbed the man seriously, causing the injury to affect his life. He cannot return to his job, while the man who committed the crime will pay a high amount of compensation for the crime of disorderly conduct.
Both deeply regret it, but their impulsive emotions got them into trouble and they are now paying the price.
The most important value of a human being is to know how to control his impulsive instincts. The distance between people is inherent in the ability to brake emotions.
When former German Chancellor Angela Merkel took part in the 2005 Chancellor's election, her opponents fiercely criticized her. Of course, Merkel was not satisfied, but she restrained her anger, did not respond, just silently looked at those people.
Because she knows that if she chooses to protest excitedly, there will be more mistakes and the situation will easily spiral out of control.
In the end, with a calm and mature expression, she brilliantly won a majority of votes and became the first female chancellor in German history.
Instead of being an animal that gets angry easily and roars in the face of discontent, we can be the abyss, flat as hell and hard for people to comprehend.
As Anthony Robbins said: "The secret of success is knowing how to master the power of pain and pleasure instead of being resisted by it. If you do this, you can take control of your life, on the contrary, your life cannot be controlled.”
Momentary impulses, even to vent, will only make you repeatedly live in a cycle of mistakes, regrets and making up for mistakes. Instead of being an animal that gets angry easily and roars in the face of discontent, we can be deep, flat, and hard for people to understand.
Learn how to make trade-offs and keep long-term benefits
I have another friend. This friend has been working in the field of communication for fifteen years and although she has outstanding ability, because his relationship with the leader is too mediocre, the promotion is very slow.
Someone persuaded her to practice a sport that the leader liked, but she refused.
She remembers that the first leader loved to play snooker, so everyone at that time gave up the opportunity to improve their ability at work and practiced hard day and night.
Then, indeed, someone was promoted because of his talent, but after three years the same leader was transferred.
The next few leaders have different interests, so everyone is busy practicing singing or calligraphy, regardless of their ability to improve their work.
She is the only one who firmly chooses to improve herself instead of following the crowd.
Because she understands that a leader, no matter how good, will one day go, and when making choices, she should not only look at promotions or short-term raises, but at the potential and value of the leader option in the future.
Many times we think that giving up means losing, but in fact, giving up is about gaining a higher level.
Likewise, we must "lose" in life in order to "gain" something. If you want to improve your knowledge, you have to spend time watching short videos, podcasts and reading more books. If you want to be healthy, you have to give up bad work and rest habits and exercise more. Or if you want to live a simple life, you have to get rid of useless things at home and spend more time organizing.
The more you give up short-term happiness, the more long-term things you can achieve in the future.
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Many people think they are powerless to change their destiny.
But in many cases, you only need to change 5% of your way of doing things, and the remaining 95% of the problem will be solved. You were not born to be a good person in the first place, but you can choose to strive to be a good person in the healthiest way.
