Reasons why you might still be single

Obviously, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in having a serious relationship at this time in their lives. Others are single maybe due to life circumstances. They may have just left a meaningful relationship or have been dating non-stop and haven't found someone who is truly compatible. The purpose of this article is not to stereotype all single women or men or put anyone in a box. However, for those looking for an answer to the puzzling question “Why am I still single?”, here are some unique answers that lie within.

1.You are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt

Let's say you didn't grow up feeling safe and secure with your parents or caregivers or have struggled to experience hurt feelings in previous relationships. In that case, it's natural for you to develop a fear of intimacy. As humans, we are born to connect and bond, but experiencing unpredictable relationships can create a fear of opening up to another person again.

To protect yourself from a painful experience, feeling trapped in an unhealthy relationship or a bond that leads to major life changes, you develop internal insecurities - including low self-esteem issues with body image, being extremely picky, avoiding dating, constantly postponing communication and dating or keeping yourself very busy with other things.

To solve this problem, you should write down all the fears, obstacles, and doubts that arise around dating. In more severe cases, you need to work directly with a therapist to understand unconscious blocks and gain more control.

2. You are standing in "blind spots"

Logan Ury, Hinge's Director of Relationship Science and author of How to Not Die Alone, classifies "blind spots" into three categories according to different dating trends including: Romanticisers, maximizers and indecisive people.

Romantic people are people who love love and believe they are single because they haven't met the right partner yet. “They expect love to be easy,” notes Ury, “so when they start a relationship and encounter the inevitable difficulties, they think, ‘Oh, this is definitely not the person for you. me'".

A maximizer is someone who is constantly looking for a partner who might be a little hotter, a little more ambitious, but never quite comes to terms with the partner they might have right in front of them. “They are always looking instead of committing to someone and building a great relationship,” says Ury.

The third type is the indecisive person, who has unrealistic expectations for themselves and can't break free from them until they become the person they want to be - until they lose 10 pounds or clean up their apartment. or find a better job. “But dating is a skill, and you only get better at it when you go out and do it,” notes Ury.

By identifying your dating tendencies, you can gain self-awareness that helps you reform those relationship-hampering patterns and behaviors moving forward.

3.You have difficulty making room for other people's feelings and perspectives

All humans are selfish by nature - after all, throughout evolution, focusing on ourselves and our safety has helped us survive. But we have to put that basic instinct aside to realise that each person has different life experiences, and therefore differences of opinion are natural. And having difficulty making room for another person's experiences and emotions can keep you from connecting with a potential partner.

On the other hand, being open to another person's perspective and willing to compromise can help you not only get along with a great person but also grow together.

4. You haven't diversified your relationships

If you are someone who stays indoors and mostly spends time at work, the chances of you meeting a potential romantic partner are very small.

There are many ways to interact socially. Sports tournaments, self-defense classes, book clubs, church groups, festivals, charity events, and volunteering at animal shelters are great opportunities to expand your network and looking for a life partner. Or you can also ask your friends to make a match. Always remember that if you don't make efforts and take chances, you will never achieve what you want.