You're Not the Only One Exhausted by Dating
When you spend too much time and energy on relationships that aren't going anywhere, burnout can become more severe.
According to a new survey by Forbes Health and OnePoll, 79% of Gen Z admit that they are mentally and emotionally exhausted from constantly scrolling through countless profiles on dating apps. These platforms, while stirring excitement with the prospect of love just a tap away, inadvertently push users into a spiral of superficial interactions and away from genuine connections. The pressure to maintain a perfect public image on social media has become an invisible burden, silently eroding mental health.
What makes the search for love on dating apps so exhausting? For some, matching, chatting, and meeting can be an exciting adventure. But for others, the initial excitement quickly fades, replaced by a feeling of boredom as they tirelessly scroll through hundreds of profiles. Then, disappointment and fatigue gradually replace the initial hope, making the journey to find a partner challenging and exhausting.
Here are some of the main causes of this burnout, according to the survey results:
Not finding the ideal relationship : 40% of survey respondents shared that this was the leading cause of dating fatigue.
Abandoned and lied to : 41% said they had been ignored, and 38% felt they had been lied to.
Frustration and rejection : 35% admitted they felt frustrated by relationships that didn't work out, while 27% experienced rejection, which left them feeling hopeless.
Repetitive conversations : 24% said boredom comes from having to constantly initiate small talk with multiple people, leaving them tired and uninterested.
Exhaustion from swiping through too many profiles : 22% admit they feel exhausted from constantly swiping through potential matches but not finding the right connection.
Additionally, other factors such as racism, sexism, abusive behavior, emotional manipulation, and pressure to present yourself perfectly all contribute to making the dating app experience more difficult. If you're feeling discouraged by these challenges, here are some ways to help you regain peace of mind and keep your hopes of finding a potential mate alive.
Limit your time on dating apps
To avoid burnout from using dating apps, experts recommend keeping your time on them moderate, such as limiting it to 30 minutes at a time. “People tend to use them excessively, and that leads to burnout,” Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief scientific adviser to Match.com, said in an interview with The New York Times. Instead of swiping endlessly, focus on people you actually feel like you have something in common with and have the potential to start a first date with.
What makes you want to date?
It’s easy to fall into the habit of mindlessly scrolling through your screen as a temporary way to fill the void of loneliness or boredom, rather than having a clear goal in mind. Ask yourself: Am I looking for a truly meaningful relationship, or simply to escape boredom, or is it just a habit?
Asking these questions will help you determine whether you need to adjust how you use the app. This might mean being more selective, or taking more initiative in conversations that you’re genuinely interested in. Having clear goals and boundaries will help your dating experience feel more purposeful and meaningful, far beyond the feeling of aimlessness or the fear of being alone.
Focus on real-life interactions
Many people share that they have been hurt after emotionally investing in online messages, only to find out that the other person was being dishonest. These feelings of deception often leave users feeling emotionally drained and disappointed. To overcome this hurt, try shifting your focus to real-life interactions. Meeting in person helps build genuine connections, minimizing the risk of disappointments that often come with relying solely on screen communication.
Be true to yourself
These apps unintentionally create an “underground” race to build the perfect profile, causing many people to try to conform to popular standards instead of being authentic. This pressure can make you appear like an inauthentic version of yourself.
To escape that trap, create a profile that truly represents you – your work, your habits, your quirks. It acts as a real “filter” to attract people who appreciate and want to discover the real you.
Take a break
Like work burnout, dating burnout is often the result of putting in too much effort without getting the results you want. Sometimes, there isn't just one reason for feeling burned out, but rather a combination of disappointments – maybe someone blew you off when things started getting serious, or you felt hurt when someone you trusted lied to you.
In times like these, it is best to give yourself some time to recover, to give yourself time to recharge. It does not mean that your love journey is over, it simply means that you need time and space to recharge.
Dating burnout can leave you feeling demotivated, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. Take it as a sign to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what’s truly important – whether that’s finding the right partner, or simply learning to enjoy your love journey.
Photo: Allure
