Decoding 'Breadcrumbing': When Your Crush Leaves a Trail of Mixed Signals

If you feel like you're giving more in a relationship or constantly experiencing emotional rollercoasters, there's a high chance you could be a victim of breadcrumbing.

Breadcrumbing means someone leads another person on by offering sweet flirtations - perhaps through social media interactions, private texting, or brief phone calls. These interactions are meant to suggest that they are interested in you, but with intermittent “on and off” intensity and with no signs of development or commitment.

They are sometimes called "Hansel and Gretelling", a term that comes from the idea of ​​leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for someone behind to find someone, like in a fairy tale.

Breadcrumbing has become an all too common form of manipulation in the dating world, especially with the rise of online dating apps.

Gaslighting and Breadcrumbing are both forms of manipulation in relationships, but they are not exactly the same. In essence, Breadcrumbing is "leading someone on", Gaslighting is a deliberate attempt to manipulate opinion, causing the victim to continually question his or her judgment and perception.

Breadcrumbing can lead to hurt feelings and sleepless nights. However, it is not as directly manipulative as Gaslighting, causing the victim to alienate friends and submit to their controlling nature. Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist in New York, explains that Breadcrumb and Gaslighting "are similar in that they cause victims to doubt and question their own perspectives as well as the intentions of others." ".

Always flirting but never going anywhere

They always had sweet flirtations, but this never went beyond small talk back and forth. Even if you're waiting for them to ask you out, it doesn't happen. And if they suggest meeting up or going on a date, they're never really invested in those plans.

Seems only interested in sex

Some Breadcrumbers are willing to spend time with you. However, that time is only about satisfying personal needs and that is most evident when they pursue physical intimacy. You may feel like they only value you for sex – and unfortunately, that feeling may be true.

Constantly busy and mysterious

Breadcrumbers always have a plan - or there's always some strange emergency they have to deal with. Their busy schedules seem to make it impossible for them to make time for their relationship. And despite repeatedly apologising and making amends for his behavior, there was no commitment to changing the situation.

At a mild level, the impact of Breadcrumb makes you very uncomfortable and always raises doubts. In a more serious situation, you will be hurt when you decide to end this ambiguity – especially if you truly trust or love them emotionally.

Over time, Breadcrumbing can cause you to lower your standards or avoid dating altogether. You assume that people will always disappoint you. This can cause hypervigilance or feelings of neediness in relationships. Worse, you tend to exacerbate your feelings of shame and self-loathing.

If you are faced with a Breadcrumber, it is important to pay attention to your psychological and emotional needs. You don't have to put up with abusive behavior. If you're trying to leave this relationship – or if you keep falling into the same uncomfortable situation – consider getting help from those around you.