Why do we feel guilty about taking time for ourself?

Work must be completed on time. Bills must be paid. Shopping list to prepare. Doing laundry and cleaning the house. Walk with the dog and be able to take care of the children. Every day, we face countless tasks that need to be completed. There's always an involuntary voice whispering in your head that you should work hard, that the time to turn off the machine hasn't come yet, until you've dried the washing, fixed the dripping faucet, cleaned it all up and are done. But unfortunately the last task on the to-do list rarely seems to exist. There will always be things that arise and need to be addressed. Why do we find it so difficult to rest? Why are we always obliged to justify ourselves to others and even to ourselves when we rest?

In a capitalist society, you are always encouraged to work hard, even sacrificing personal needs for the sake of collective goals. If someone slows down in the cycle, they will become lost and abandoned. That's why it's so difficult for modern people to find ways to pause, live in the moment, and celebrate what they've achieved. We internalise the message that rest is not a good thing. We live in a constant state of stress because we are always busy. However, that is an unsustainable lifestyle. When caught up in the hustle and bustle, adrenaline stimulates and causes a state of excitement almost like doping. The problem is that no one can maintain this speed and pressure for long. If you don't stop, you risk exhaustion, physical or mental breakdown, or both.

Typically, women are at risk of facing more stress and social pressure than men. Try to imagine the number of times you have witnessed the image of a wife and mother who is comfortable, free and spends time for herself without having to worry about a second job? According to experts, there is an underlying sense of guilt in women fueled by "imposter syndrome". In fact, most of the care for children, siblings and family members still falls on women. And they always have to try very hard to meet the standards that society imposes on them.

Even the methods recommended for women to entertain themselves are often activities that imply a certain preconceived notion of health: Yoga, shopping, skin care, cooking, reading, etc. And social networks play an important role as a stimulant for stress. When you browse Facebook, you believe that other people are using their free time effectively and intelligently. Just sitting still or doing what you like doesn't seem like a wise choice. The women you follow don't spend lazy Sundays in bed eating junk food. They wake up at dawn to practice yoga, have lunch with friends, visit museums, read interesting books, go to the flower market, do charity work,... And all of this seems insignificant. Is there any fatigue, fear or complaint? It seems like it's just a "virtual" life, but it affects how we evaluate ourselves.

This perfect setup, in which relaxation itself becomes a performance, becomes even more insidious and deceitful with the holiday season. At least in theory, Christmas and New Year's Eve are holidays where many people have the opportunity to go on vacation. But how many people can actually make time for themselves? How many have enough courage to put their own interests first? Sad, happy, tired, depressed or whatever emotion or state of mind we are experiencing? Many people may choose to put family first, feel the need to look happy and radiant on social media, and feel guilty not preparing dinner, buying gifts, or attending parties. But if we decide to say "enough", will the world become worse?