Trusting the process: the Ibiza life and work of Nadja van Osch

Your work is very well-known in your native Holland. Can you tell us a little bit about your background and how you ended up in your field?

I grew up in the Netherlands and I was on my way to becoming a professor in business ethics. I was doing my PhD research in mindfulness, connectedness, spirituality and other practices that could influence the behaviour of people and companies. I studied the really big cases – the Nestle slavery case for example, where huge things had gone terribly wrong. And I'm like, how is that possible and how do so many people cooperate with it and how does it work? And how can we change the way people think and hopefully make corporations function in a more ethical way? The problem was, I was in and out of depression myself and at a certain point I really fell into that depression and stayed there for around one and a half years. Alcohol became a problem. I was thinking very dark thoughts. And I didn't understand where it was coming from or how that was possible or what was wrong with me, because I came from a very normal, urban household where seemingly nothing was wrong. But because I was doing my PhD in mindfulness and looking at how the brain works and how it influences behaviour, I started to apply this to myself. That was just the beginning of a very interesting journey where I discovered a mountain of trauma that was essentially invisible on the surface. I started to learn how trauma works and started to educate myself on its impact. And I realised it was my calling, so I quit my PhD and refocused on working with the human relationship with trauma. 

You've spent your adult life travelling. When did you decide to leave Holland?

My father moved to Bali when I was 18, so I spent many, many years visiting Bali and I felt very at home there. I was on holiday in Bali when I met my husband [the photographer Robbie Lanauze]  eight years ago. I was actually waiting to go on a date with an old flame, but he was late. Robbie turned up instead and we met, and it was instant – instant! We looked at one another and fell in love. It was just like, Okay, that's it. Done. I moved into Robbie’s house and we ended up living in Bali for another six years. That’s when my work really began, first simply by helping people, and then it grew, and it grew, and it grew, until I couldn't handle my waiting list anymore. And then I started to make online programmes and that developed into a book and now it’s whole amazing business. I feel very honoured to share people’s journeys in this way.

Your book is a best-seller in Holland. Can you tell us a little more about it?

It's called Love Revolution. It basically about the fact that, as modern humans, we usually operate from a place of scarcity, of fear, of not feeling good enough. We are running from an overactivated nervous system and from so much trauma that we are often not even aware of. So, the book really explores how we can not only uncover that trauma and recognise it but also how we can heal from it and what does it even look like? It’s a lot of what we call ‘shadow work’. About how to transmute the dark and the shadow and the trauma into what is on the other side of the coin, which is power and peace and hope and strength. I've seen it with myself and it's possible. I've seen it with so many clients that I know it's possible to heal. And we all have trauma. You know, you've got the trauma with the big ‘T’ - the big visible events. If you come from war or if you've been severely abused or had a bad car accident. But what we know now about trauma is that constant emotional insecurity as a child is as traumatic as a big event. Growing up in a household where a parent had mood swings, or was physically absent, or emotionally unavailable. That slow drip-drip of unsafety is just as powerful as one major traumatic event, because the nervous system becomes wired to constantly feel uneasy. Your emotional needs aren't met. And that results in all the patterns we’re familiar with - fight, flight, fun. Numbing in all its forms - in alcohol and drugs and relationships. And in all those things that give us a feeling of control. So, my work is about healing the trauma so that we can move on with fulfilled lives.

Tell me about your life in Ibiza. Has it been easy?

The north feels like home. It is where I feel I can breathe. We live in a 300-year-old finca near Las Dalias that is is kind of falling down but the energy is amazing. In fact, I find that Ibiza has the most fascinating energy in general. It's very similar to Bali in that there is no grey area, no middle ground. In a place like Holland, you've got light, and you’ve got dark, and you have whole worlds in between. In Ibiza there is no in between. It’s either the best of times or the worst of times and believe me, this island will tear you to pieces if you are not careful. It’s raw and it’s messy and it’s not for the fainthearted, but I have found a way to really surrender it to, and I feel grateful because I can see how the island is showing me my stuff. Like everyone, I fought it at first and it was intense. But it has brought a lot of healing for all of us, and we are so close as a family here. It is an unbelievably beautiful place to raise children and the community here is nurturing and loving. But Ibiza will teach you things about yourself that you might not have wanted to know. If you have a soul calling to be here then you need to accept that, because it’s part of your evolution. It’s all part of the unique narrative that was made for you.